My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
