What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
