I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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