508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
