I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
