you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
