I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
