no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And then the night went full on bisexual.
COCAINE IS GR8
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
