I just saw a hot homeless man
no, he came in my armpit
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
