I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
