38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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