dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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