Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
