hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize