Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
