Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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