My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
