So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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