dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize