sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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