That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
