Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
