She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
