love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
