were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
