put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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