bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
