I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
