theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
