Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
