Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
