Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
