How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
