suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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