yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
