my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he wants to bone in the snuggie
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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