Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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