she was so not down for the gang bang
so explain again why im purple
no
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She's the barista slut.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
