Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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