We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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