I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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