After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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