She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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