just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
