I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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