is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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