Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
