i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
