Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You are the jesus of drinking
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
