Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
